I fully understand about how you feel and truly sympathise but I’m sure there is still a place for you in the SOTA crowd. By all means stop going after the unattainable but look to see what targets you can reasonably achieve and change your tack. You know how to activate so perhaps that is your best direction. That way, you won’t have to suffer the noise again. There are other facets of chasing you could try.
It has been recognized from the outset, even before the outset, that SOTA can never remotely be a level playing field (no equality of chances) and that applies to both activation and chasing. For instance I must drive 300km to 500km round trip to activate mountains of 2 points or above because my bit of England has no hills to speak of. I realised I had to activate as many summits in a day as possible if I was not going to wear out what is left of my car. It’s the same with chasing. Geographical location counts for a lot.
I must take this opportunity to thank you for the 30 or so SOTA QSO’s we have had. Because I specialise in LF, I realise that I’m not always reaching Poland but when I do get onto 7; 10 or 14MHz (and a couple on 24), you can hear my 50 Watts almost every time. Your operating is quick and good but I apologise if sometimes you have not been able to get through.
Take a break, change your tack as you plan to do but we don’t want to lose you!
Wesołych Świąt Bożego Narodzenia i szczęśliwego Nowego Roku!
CU Agn I hope.
73/ 72, John G4YSS