I thank everyone for those replies.
In reply to KU6J:
In reply to K9ZMD:
This is not exactly what you are asking about Gary, but the following
exchange has happened to me many times after moving to a new band
during an activation (usually when I move to my alerted 40m
frequency):
Me: QRL?
Them: SOTA?
Me: GA ELLIOTT 5NN W6/NS-123 DE KU6J
Them: 5NN TU ERIC DE K6EL
It’s always nice to be able to put one in the log before you call CQ,
and even before anyone sends their callsigns. 
73,
Eric KU6J
Hello Eric - I’ve no problem with the scenario you’ve described. You actually heard a station, and had a reasonable expectation that it was an activator getting ready to open shop. “Actually heard a station” is the key phrase, in my estimation.
In reply to MM0FMF:
. . . .
Yes, I hear ? many times when activating, often in the middle of
exchanges with someone, a ? will appear out of the aether.
Andy
MM0FMF
Thanks for your reply, Andy. Yes, 54 years and counting. OK now, to clarify my inquiry: That little bit snipped from your post describes exactly the behavior that I questioned in my original post.
I wouldn’t be at all troubled to hear “?” or “QRL?” or even “Didit Dit” on a totally dead frequency (actually “Didit Dit” might surprise me; there are about 247 ops left in the world who know exactly what that means). Continuing, however, what I’ve repeatedly heard occurs while the frequency is alive with SOTA exchanges that are apparently not being heard by Mr. Impatient. Is it perhaps a non-SOTA station? Well, anything is possible, but that is unlikely when the transmission is “SOTA?”, or a 2x2 call to the activator’s call sign.
Of course I recognize that I can’t control the behavior of anyone except myself, but I can hope to influence others toward improvement. To that end, I’ll reveal my personal practice - I won’t touch the key until I hear the activator send his/her call sign and invite replies. If I hear nothing at all, I’ll take it that there’s no contact to be had, rather than presume that the activator must be quietly waiting for me me me to give him a buzz.
To read here that DXing commonly involves rude behavior is no eye-opener.
I do suspect some DXers might actually be A-1 operators, but it’s the rude, undisciplined behavior of the others that I hope will not spill over into SOTA operations. Nuff said. 73
Gary, K9ZMD
Ridgefield, WA